Headless Government (flash story)

This is the third of the third set of adventures of Karamus as told by an older and more bitter version of himself in a semi-journal format. These are written for fun so enjoy.


Ah, the fight in the church. Where the wannabe assassins made their last-ditch effort to take us out and failed miserably. When we heard the intruders, I made a flip of my ring and went invisible as everyone else starting casting their helpful spells. Once that was done, I crept out of the back room and down the hallway to the door that led into the main worship room and damn it all, the door was shut. With a sigh I opened the door and immediately ducked my head as this sickly green ray shot over my head. I looked over to the wall to see where I saw a tiefling climbing along the wall.

Jarvyk made his way to the opposite door leading into the main room a moment later and drew everyone’s attention, rightfully so, as he came in riding the fuzzy back of his bear. You know, that would make a good rug someday…

Anyway, as the assassins converged on the paladin, I saw an opening on one of the half orcs and made my move. I dashed across the room and jumped up onto the dais in mid-stride. Along the edge I ran and just as I reached the mercenary, I jumped off in a twisted flip, drawing Dawnstar as I landed on the ground behind the mercenary. With a flick of my wrist and followed through and pierced the armor of the half orc who howled in pain. A moment later a large blue and ugly came out from invisibility behind me and swung a huge sword but missed me completely. Apparently the mayor of the city had made a pact with the ugly stick and joined the side of evil.

The rest of the group did ok. Ashton was walking through fire, Greybeard was trying to disintegrate things and Jarvyk was riding fur. Then Jenya came out. She is certainly prettier when she’s mad and boy, did those mercenaries not stand a chance against that mace or my rapier. It was a dance of death and we won handily. The blue and ugly tried to make his escape by flying up to the outside and atop the building but Greybob and Ashton stopped him cold. He tried to plead for his life-like a coward and Ashton killed him for it. A little bloodthirsty of the necromancer….now if that wasn’t a weird statement, I don’t know what is. I should say he is acting more normal to what he should be doing.

Regardless, the assassins are dead and the city is leaderless. Talk about my type of situation. I wonder if I can get a two for one deal on politicians this year…


Karamus rubbed his eyes and closed the journal. He knew something was missing, some piece of his past that would explain the events of the present. His old mind raced through the possibilities but there were too many encounters to recall, the downside of being an adventurer. There was someone who would know, however, and he sighed at the thought. “I would rather get beheaded again.” he muttered and sat at his chair, opening the next journal. He hoped it wouldn’t come to that.


Three days later after the venture down in oblivion, Jenya told us that a meeting was going to be taking place with all of the nobles of the city to discuss who would lead now that the death of the mayor was known. I sighed at the thought of hanging around a bunch of nobles and politicians. I hate politics. If you don’t like a guy, just kill him. Sure as hell easier than trying to blackmail him screwing the maid to his wife for a bunch of money. Just kill them all and take their money. You see? So much easier.

So during the meeting it came up that a council of elder format might be better for the city. I say hells yes. More than one politician to bride and generally for cheaper since there is competition. As my thoughts raced over the possibilities of corrupting a new city government, some squealing voice boomed out over the room to kill the phoenix. I dropped my head and sighed. Really? I thought we killed all you guys already.

This time it was a bunch of mercs and a derro who lead the assault. This fight actually proved a bit more challenging as several of the attackers had training in the ways of dirty fighting. It is a special form of fighting for sure and these guys had just enough to expect my various forms of fighting. Quite annoying really. Thankfully, they didn’t really have an answer for a huge bear and a paladin rider. Rogue or fighter, it all tastes the same going down for the bear.

When the fighting was done, we got back with some of the nobles at the church. Lord Taskerhill tried to blame the attack on us and went storming off. Frankly, I think he is one of the bad guys now. Certainly worth keeping an eye on him. Anyhow, we tried to get the discussion going again when a small tremor shook the place a bit followed by a second, more powerful one. Hastily we made our way outside only to get thrown down to the ground with a really strong earthquake. It then occurred to me that the city sits right on a dormant volcano.

Really? You are going to destroy the city by awakening a volcano?

Brilliant idea actually…


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