Application for Sainthood (flash story)

This is the last semi-journal entry of the adventures of Karamus as I had to stop playing the game due to life getting busy. He was incredibly fun to play and I hope you had fun reading about his adventures.


So I’m saving people now. I guess I’m not as cold hearted as I wanted to be. When the fire and earthquakes took root in the city of Cauldron, the people lost their minds. The mass hysteria took a special place in my chaotic heart. You get to see how people truly are, their inner self when faced with chaos. Apparently I like to save people who are in dire peril. Sigh.

When everything started, my first thoughts went to my sister and her inability to get away without help. I took off, leaving the group behind to be the goody-goody heroes they think they are. As I raced down the street, I came across Ashton who said Karissa was still at the house. In our moment of meeting, the screams of children filled my ears as some sodding moron was just about to drop an infant out of a window of a burning building. Like I said, the true nature of people shall be revealed.

So as the sod dropped the kid, I dashed over and caught him in mid-air and tumbled to the ground no worse for wear. A second person cried that some girl was trapped inside the burning building. Really? Why the hell would you leave the kid inside a burning building? Cursing, I raced inside to look for the kid, which I found in the middle of an inferno of burning keepsakes. I picked up the whiny thing and turned to leave but that’s when the building collapsed on top of us. Great. Is there some cosmic novelist who is getting a kick out of this? I mean really.

With my toes on fire, I managed to just get a hold of the teleportation scroll that I had in my pouch. Using my feet as a source of light, I was just barely able to read the scroll and picture the Silver Phoenix house in my mind. A moment later, all was well. I handed the kid over to the Archers and told Karissa that we were getting the hell out. Seeing as how she couldn’t really move, I grabbed a nearby wagon outside and started to get her loaded up and sent out of the city.

With that taken care of, I met back up with the group to find out what was going on now. Apparently, there was a lot of talking about what to do and not a lot of action. And they call themselves heroes. Feh. I managed to talk some sense into them that we should go save the Archers as I recalled that it had been requested earlier. Why does the bad man have to come up with the idea to save people. Maybe this world is screwed more than we thought.

Along the way via flight, we came across another burning building with more burning people in need of saving. Naturally, the fire resistant one was elected to go in, find the burning people and save them. Why! Oh gods, why me?

I did it anyway. Looked like it could be fun.

So with a whole family now saved I was pretty sure my place in heaven was pretty secure. With that, we moved on to the Archers’ house by the lake. They were outside already and just as we got there, and I swear that novelist has a sodding sense of humor, the mythical lake monster popped out of the water like a jack-in-the-box. The mere sight of it killed the Archers instantly. Really? Even Seen, Shean, whatever his name was dead. Should have stuck with adventuring I say.

So we fought the thing, and it was more kitten than tiger as we once against saved the day and whipped that poor creatures tail back to the seven layers of hell. By my count, 12 people saved, 6 morons dead, and 1 big dead fish. Sainthood, here I come!

Speak of, this is my application for sainthood, by Karamus

So, the group decided to save people. I’m not against this idea, it certainly makes us look good in the public eye which is always needed for people of my line of work. With the lake creature dead, we headed to the skies and began looking around for citizens in danger. The first of a long list of deeds was witnessing a building collapse onto top of a poor, innocent family. We came down and landed at the rubble and began looking for survivors. With my keen perception abilities I was able to locate the family members quickly and showed Jarvyk and the bear how to best lift the debris so we could get the people out with causing any additional problems. Due to my quick reactions, we were able to save all of the family members.

Once the people were safe and on their way out of the city, we took to the skies once more and looked for more citizens to save. It would not take us long. A fissure and cracked open the ground, trapping a handful of people at the bottom. I realized that, due to the depth of the fissure, we would have to fly down and carry everyone up in order to save them all. Acting quickly, everyone but Bransen made their way down and started to ferry people back up. Greybeard used his mind bending teleports to assist as well after a bit of instruction by me. In less than a minute we were able to get everyone up and out of the fissure before it closed back up.

With those people saved and sent on their way out of the city, we took to the skies once more and, surprise, we found another problem. This time it was a large stampede of livestock moving down the road. We needed to act quickly to make sure no one got trampled by the animals, but the group couldn’t decided the best way to stop stampeding animals. But I did. Withdrawing my wand of web, I activated the wand and dropped an expansive webbing of goo which brought the livestock to a halt. Now, it was my plan to release the web a few seconds later so that we could direct them out of the city, but the wand stopped working and the livestock panicked.

Then the ground erupted.

We all managed to avoid the fire and chucks of rock but the livestock panicked even further and since the webbing was destroyed by the fire, they started their stampede up in the opposite direction. With quick thinking, I took flight and got in front of the stampede as Jarvyk took hold of the lead animal and I directed him on how to best lead the animals out of the city. It was a wild ride but once against, we succeeded.

With that taken care of, we headed back into the city and started looking for more people to save. A few blocks later we came across a group of people who were all standing in place and not moving. The group got in close and quickly realized that there was cooled magma all around. I managed to calm people down to the point were we could carry them out of the area to safety. Once they were on their way out of the city, we started looking for more areas of danger.

Ultimately it began to occur to me that the more we looked, the more problems we found. The biggest problem of the day occurred when a rock slide caused a massive blockage of the escape route out of the city. With tons of rock in the way, the only way the normal people could get through was to clear a path. I quickly pulled my wand of bull’s strength and went to work enhancing several people nearby to get them to help clear debris. Greyback went to work disintegrating a starting point and we did that hard work of clearing away. With a whole lot of people helping us, we managed to get done what would have taken normal people five times as long. It was a shining moment for me.

Satisfied that we had saved who we could, we made our way out of the doomed city ourselves to the north we a large group had set up camp along with Karissa and the Archers. As we settled down in the Silver Phoenix Camp to rest after a hard day’s work of saving people, I spotted the old red dragon circling the city looking for something. I found it interesting that the first time I met this group was when the dragon had come about. The circle is now complete. Time to put the final stamp on this play and defeat a dragon. But first, a good night’s sleep.

Once the dragon is defeated, I would like my coronation to be presented by 75 woman…all naked….my robes should be red silk. None of that velvet stuff as it makes my skin break out……and….a gold scepter…with diamonds…no, diamond clusters…..and good leather pants….black of course….um…followers…of gold…and…puppies….(writing scribbles off)